Diary of a Spiritual Medium

Dandelion Wishes

2010-02-04T18:11:00.000-08:00

I am halfway through Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now, and I am completely convinced that I have spent most of my life sleepwalking. I think we all go on auto-pilot to get through our days, especially when we're bored with our jobs or unhappy about some aspect of our lives. We all have vices and mental escapes to keep us sane. But what I've learned from this book is so powerful: Stop escaping. Embrace this moment with everything you have. Breathe in and breathe out. The only time that exists is now. The past and the present only exist in your mind. They're not real. The past was real at one point in time, but that was when it was "now." It is only ever now, so why waste your energy on the past (it's done) or the future (fear cannot survive without the light of now)?

I don't mean you shouldn't dream beautiful dreams of where your life is headed. Dream away, think positively, and attract and create lovely things in your life! But erase the fear and anxiety that comes from thinking of what may or may not happen if you do or say this or that. It's wasted negative energy. And erase the burdens from the past. You didn't fail; you learned and evolved.

My spirit guides constantly remind me that I am a divine being. I am a spiritual soul having a temporary human experience. When you can view yourself as the divine being you really are, you begin to see everything from a much larger perspective. The small stuff doesn't matter as much. You begin to forgive yourself and let go of all negative emotion. You release.

Right now my guides are showing me the image of a child making a wish and blowing a dandelion. All of the white spores are floating up into the air. All is released and forgiven. You can do the same with anything that haunts you. Forgive yourself, say a prayer and watch your worries dance into the wind. It's really that easy. You are in the now, and you are beautiful.

Expect Happiness

2010-01-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

Just finished reading Mike Dooley's Notes From the Universe, a quick but inspiring book that reminded me of how the universe really works. Most people—including me until about two years ago—believe that happiness will come after we get the great job, perfect relationship, shiny car, big house, etc. But it ain't so, Joe. That's actually a backward way of thinking.

Happiness comes from within and when you actually allow it to come into your experience. If you can monitor and transform your negative thoughts into positive ones, and if you can continually reach for better-thinking thoughts, you can achieve happiness NOW.

One of Mike Dooley's notes from the Universe reads, "You know the space between you and all things, the void? That's where I hide...and watch. Looking to see what your expectations are: of yourself, others, abundance, health and happiness. And from this space...as I catch your thoughts, hear your words, and see all you do, no matter where we are...I manifest the next moment in time.... - The Universe"

If we expect something positive to happen, and imagine feeling joyful with every fiber of our being about that positive event or object, the universe will bring us that positive something. On the other hand, if we expect something negative to happen and feel the impending doom, the universe will deliver something negative. That's the very essence of the Law of Attraction, which states that WE create everything in our life experiences. And I mean EVERYTHING, no matter how glorious or awful. Just by focusing our energy and emotions on something, we invite it into our realms of consciousness. Our thoughts become things.

We see the Law of Attraction in action everywhere but aren't always aware of it. Instead, we tend to think of events as fateful or coincidental, which couldn't be further from the truth. Why do you think they say, "If you think you can, you can"?

Once we are equipped with this knowledge that we can manifest anything we want in life through our focused thoughts and redirected emotions, imagine the possibilities!

Here's another great excerpt from Mike Dooley: "If you knew for certain that very, very soon all your dreams would be coming true, what would you do today to prepare the way? (Do it.) How might you celebrate? (Do this, too.) Who would you tell? (Write them a brief note, now; you don't have to mail it yet.) What thoughts of gratitude would you have? (Express them.) And finally, who would you help to 'achieve,' as you have achieved? (Help them.)"

Just by shifting your vibration and feeling as if you have already achieved your biggest dream, you align yourself with the physical manifestation of that dream, thereby setting the universe in motion. Your wish is the universe's command. If you want something badly enough, you will expect it to come into your life and allow it. Don't worry about how it will come. That's the universe's job, to figure out all the details. All you have to do is hold on to that intention, revel in the positive feelings it produces, and watch your life change.

Expect happiness today. You're fahhhbulous, dahhhhling, and you deserve it!

Let My Light Shine

2010-01-14T08:02:00.000-08:00

In September I entered an essay contest for Real Simple magazine. I just found out yesterday that I didn't win, but thankfully through this blog I still have a way to share my story with others. The magazine posed the question, "When did you first know you were a grown-up?" And here was my response:

Let My Light Shine
By Carrie Kenady

In the summer of 1996, I took a job as a camp counselor in Brevard, North Carolina, a quaint and artsy town in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. At Camp Illahee, girls can learn a range of activities, from soccer to synchronized swimming to horsemanship. I spent the 10-week position teaching gymnastics, tennis and (don’t laugh) weaving to girls of all ages. I knew absolutely nothing about weaving before I got there, but I was a convincing actress, and luckily I caught on quickly.

In the Cherokee language, "Illahee" means "heavenly world." What an appropriate phrase for what would become such a spiritually enlightening summer for me. In the span of those 10 weeks beneath the summer stars, I evolved from a completely lost and shattered 19-year-old girl into a more confident, independent and guided woman— a woman destined to become the strong, positive 32-year-old author, teacher, matchmaker and spiritual healer I am today.

I had soon-to-be-sixth graders in my rustic log cabin all summer. What a great age. They're still young enough to adore every word you say but old enough to carry on semi-intellectual conversations. Once lights were out and I had comforted any lingering waves of homesickness or hushed any outrageous fits of giggles, I retreated to my own tiny mattress and crawled in bed, usually exhausted from the strenuous physical activities of the day.

I fondly remember falling asleep to the frogs’ loud trills in the nearby lake or to the melody of rain tickling the tin roof overhead, promising to deliver a new day of hope and energy and revival. I can still taste our fried chicken suppers on Sundays, and the inevitable gooey S’mores we made by the campfire.

Every Sunday morning the girls woke up and donned their camp uniform: a white polo shirt, white shorts and thin, blue cloth ties that tucked just so beneath their collars and tied somewhere near their belly buttons. No matter how hyper and hormonal some of those girls were, once they put on their “Sunday whites,” they all looked like little angels.

One Sunday in particular we walked to our nearby campsite for a brief, non-denominational church service. As part of the service, we all sang “Angels Among Us,” a moving ballad written by Becky Hobbs and Don Goodman. The country group Alabama made the song popular when they released it in October of 1995. The chorus goes like this:

Oh I believe there are angels among us

Sent down to us from somewhere up above

They come to you and me in our darkest hours

To show us how to live

To teach us how to give

To guide us with a light of love.

Standing there in that serenely beautiful and spiritual moment, all of us were completely connected to nature and the “heavenly world” around us. The girls’ pure and innocent voices flitted through the trees and waters like a savory aroma wafting through a busy kitchen, but their words made such a lasting, indelible imprint on my heart. As if angels were singing through them, these beautiful, young souls reminded me that truth, light and love are always here— we just have to look for them.

In the span of three or four minutes—or however long it took for us to sing that song together—I realized that I was a grown-up with an incredible amount of responsibility. I had so much to teach these girls. But I also realized that back in the “real world,” life didn’t have to be so hard.

As a 19 year old, I was right in the thick of my parents’ divorce. If ever there was a lost soul, I was one of them. Even though I had a bright future ahead of me and the world at my fingertips, I was struggling with self-esteem issues and severe anxiety and depression. Like so many other college freshmen, I had succumbed to binge drinking and overeating, behaviors that felt good temporarily but never provided lasting comfort for my soul.

Today I know with 100 percent conviction that I attracted that “heavenly world” into my life experience just when I needed it the most. I created that peaceful, natural environment for myself so that I could retreat inward and find myself again. I might have discovered that I was a grown-up, but I also discovered that I needed those girls just as much as those girls needed me.

They taught me that the biggest glimpse of hope we can have for our future is to believe in the one thing that will carve it: ourselves. They taught me to look inward to find my own happiness. They taught me that little girls are and can be everything they want to be.

On the last full day of camp, we had the girls make floating candles, which we instructed them to bring to our closing ceremony. We sang some of our favorite camp songs and then asked the girls to release their candles onto the lake. As I released my own floating candle onto the water, it was almost as if I released my childhood into the depths of that water below me and gave myself permission to let my soul’s light shine on top of the water’s surface. I remember how organically beautiful it was, with all of the twinkling lights floating peacefully under the sky’s nighttime canvas, the moon lighting the dark pathways beneath our feet.

In that moment, I realized that we were all infinitely connected. We were all one in that heavenly place on earth, where angels wore little white polo shirts with purple popsicle stains.

I was a grown-up woman, ready to take on our big, crazy world. I was ready to touch others’ lives in positive, meaningful ways. I was ready to let my light shine.

I Heart You, Water!

2010-01-12T14:36:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I watched What The Bleep Do We Know!?, a 2004 film that discusses the spiritual link between quantum physics and consciousness. If you haven't yet seen it, run (do not walk) to your nearest Blockbuster or Netflix movie queue. While the film doesn't actually define or refer to the Law of Attraction, it discusses the basis of it throughout, stating repeatedly that our thoughts create our physical realities. Like thoughts attract like objects, always.

A whole other blog about the Law of Attraction is probably necessary and forthcoming, but for now I'd like to focus on one segment of the film that fascinated me. Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese researcher, discovered that water molecules can be altered by concentrated thought. Using high-speed photography and a powerful microscope, he was able to demonstrate that when water crystals are exposed to positive words and thoughts, they form beautiful, extraordinary patterns that resemble snowflakes. And when the water crystals are exposed to negative words and thoughts, they form asymmetrical, lifeless patterns. How cool is that?!

Click here to view the segment from the movie. The sound isn't great and the segment repeats a few times in this one video, but at least you'll get the idea.

The creepy man at the end of the segment says, "Makes you wonder, doesn't it? If thoughts can do that to water, imagine what thoughts can do to us." Indeed it does make me wonder! Our bodies are 2/3 water. If we bless our bodies and say positive things to them everyday – along with the water we put into and on our bodies – what will happen? Will we blossom into the awesome, productive, inspiring human beings we're destined to become?

I think on one level of consciousness we will. It's similar to a child who is constantly praised versus a child who is verbally or physically abused. The child who is encouraged will blossom into a whole, well-rounded human being, and the abused child will grow up with self-esteem issues.

OUR THOUGHTS CREATE OUR REALITIES. We create everything, whether it's positive or negative. So I challenge you to repeatedly go out into the world and send loving thoughts to all those around you, even when you're angry at them, and watch what happens.

Oh, and I don't know about you, but I'm going to tell my shower water that I love it as soon as I turn it on each morning. I'm also going to thank it for healing me and cleansing me of any toxins from the previous day. Sounds kooky, but "the world is round" once sounded kooky, too.

A Night of Validations

2010-01-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

Hung out with my friend Chelsea last night, and some pretty interesting characters visited us, including two of her deceased neighbors, one of whom crossed over less than a month ago. Even I was a bit spooked! Read all about it in her blog: http://spiritboutique.blogspot.com/

Kisses to Hokey

2010-01-06T10:07:00.000-08:00

When I had to put my cat of 19 years down on October 26, 2009, I was absolutely devastated. I knew it was just her time and that she had lived a good, long life, but that didn't make it any easier. We had a bond that was indescribable. I think a lot of that bond had to do with the fact that I intuitively knew what she was "saying" and thinking at all times. We understood each other and loved each other unconditionally.

Not long after I discovered that I was a spiritual medium, I figured out that I'm also extremely intuitive with animals. When I walk into a pet store that has cats, dogs and fish, I immediately feel an overwhelming sensation and can feel their energies. I can also sense if they're in pain or if something is off kilter.

I'm a huge animal lover and have to look away when I see those commercials on TV about animal neglect or abuse. It just breaks my heart! That's because when I was six I was attacked by an Irish Setter. (I still have a scar on my right cheek that I used to be really self-conscious about, but now I like to think of it as my beauty mark.) Usually friendly dogs, this Irish Setter had clearly been a victim of abuse since I was the second child it had attacked. I was naturally terrified of all dogs after surviving that traumatic incident. But then my dad brought Copper into our lives, and my fear melted away forever. Copper was our loving golden retriever who humped pretty much anything that was stationary long enough for him to hump it. He was very sweet but much like Marley, an ornery soul that loved to get into mischief.

I believe that special pets come back to us time and time again through reincarnation and throughout many lifetimes. Sometimes when I'm doing a reading for people, a pet's spirit will come through with messages that they're OK and happy. I absolutely love passing along those messages from beloved pets.

While I've never heard from Copper, I have heard from several of my cats, including Hokey. She must have some strong energy, because I can hear her loud and clear anytime I talk to her. I know it's her, because she comes through with a high-pitched and super fast voice, and I can feel her around me as if she were right there in the room. She constantly tells me that she loves and misses me and not to cry for her anymore. She tells me that we'll be together again one day, which gives me great hope and comfort.

I used to always kiss her and tell her, "Kisses to Hokey. Kisses to Hokey." Every once in awhile when she comes through, I'll hear an excited, "Kisses to Mommy! Kisses to Mommy!" and I'll smile. It's really her, and I can actually hear her. What a blessed gift.

I Hear Dead People

2010-01-05T12:19:00.000-08:00

In The Sixth Sense, Haley Joel Osment famously says, "I see dead people." Well, I don't see dead people, but I do hear them, which makes me clairaudient. I'm also clairsentient, meaning I can feel/sense spirits around me and feel their energy, emotions and true personalities.

Believe it or not, I didn't truly realize that I had this ability until this summer, at age 32. Growing up I always felt different than other people, like I was more sensitive than most. But I just chalked it up to being an emotional Pisces. We tend to be dreamy, creative, romantic and poetic, which sums me up pretty well. Nothing out of the ordinary happened until after my "Grandma Ohio" – yes, the grapes and cookies grandma who lived in Ohio and had died when I was in college – started talking to me. The first time she came to me was in a dream, in which she lovingly told me goodbye. I woke up from that dream knowing with 100% conviction that her spirit had, indeed, visited me.

Then an odd thing started happening. I would write in one of my journals and my handwriting would start to change. I would scribble on the page as fast as my hand could go to get it all down, and when it was over I would re-read it and feel with every possible fiber of my being that it was a message from my Grandma Ohio. The messages would say things like, "Love you. You have love/light round you. Not alone. Keep writing. Stop cracking knuckles. Yes, it's me. Hazel." And the oddest part would be that there were often misspellings, no punctuation and horrible handwriting, which was completely uncharacteristic of moi, the English major/grammar guru and girl who had always had exceptionally neat handwriting.

Even though in my gut I believed it to be real, I was a total skeptic. I again chalked it up to the fact that I was a creative writer with a vivid imagination. To be honest, it spooked me out a bit, and I ignored it for several years. But then as soon as I'd pick up my journal writing again, other people started coming through, and I'd write all kinds of crazy messages like, "Harry Atwater. Lawyer from Alabama. 1923. Tell Lori to look under bed in red box." I mean, who were these people and what did they want from me?!

That's when I hopped on the Internet and did a little research. Before then I had never heard of automatic writing. The day I discovered that what I was doing was an actual phenomenon, I was quite startled. I've always been drawn to everything paranormal, but I never dreamed that I personally had psychic abilities. And I think at that time, I still wasn't convinced that what I was seeing unfold on the pages of my journal was real. My father is a surgical oncologist, so I grew up with a dad who taught me to disregard things you can't see or prove in a scientific manner of some sort. I put away my journals for awhile and didn't think much more of it.

Fast forward several years to July 2009, when I lost my favorite uncle. He was like a father to me, and although we hadn't seen each other much after I graduated from a college in Richmond, VA, where he lived, I still held him in the highest regard. He was a Methodist minister, a man who enriched so many others' lives through his sermons, missionary work and everyday humanitarian efforts. The thing that most fascinated me about him was that he was psychic. He never outwardly claimed to be prophetic, but he was. He joked and said, "God has my email address." He knew things that there's no way he could have known without having psychic abilities.

The day after he died that July, I sat in my room crying my eyes out. And then I said into thin air, "I know I can hear you. Please start talking to me. Please show me that you're still here. I need to know that your spirit is still here."

I didn't hear anything in that moment, but later that day he spoke to me loud and clear through my television set. We usually got perfect reception, but for some reason the TV's reception went out. I slapped the TV a few times and probably called it a few names since I was irritated. Then the second the reception came back in, an actor in the movie said my uncle's name. I froze on the spot and KNEW it was him speaking to me.

Then two days later, I was driving in the rain and happened to look in my rear view mirror at the back windshield. On the glass, in cursive that would have had to be written backward so I could see it properly in my mirror, were the words "I can see you." I was officially freaked out, because again, I KNEW it was a message from my beloved uncle.

As an aside, I believe that spirits are a continuation of the energy force they were on this physical earth plane, so they have the amazing ability to interfere with electronics – just another form of energy. That's why my uncle was able to interfere with my television. I like to think of it this way: Water can turn into ice, which can turn back into water again. That's how I view humans. We're in spirit form (water), and when we come into our physical bodies we're in a different form (ice), and then when we die we go back into our spirit forms (water).

Anyway, hearing from my uncle brought me closer to realizing that I truly do possess my own psychic abilities. After talking to a woman who practices Reiki and reads akashic records about my automatic writing, I was convinced that I was on to something. Shortly thereafter I started practicing on my open-minded and willing friends. I wrote a list of things that I heard and read it outloud to the person. Shockingly, most of the things I wrote down were substantially significant and relevant to that person's life! I was amazed. I suppose deep down I knew that I possessed this ability, but I was still amazed that it was real.

The moment I decided to really listen, the miracles started to occur. I quickly realized how easily I could talk to my uncle or my Grandma Ohio, and how easily I could hear them back. Some non-believers and skeptics may call me crazy, but that doesn't bother me one bit. Let them think what they want to! I don't care. I believe my ability is a gift from God. I believe I have important messages to pass along to people, and that if I don't pass along these messages, I won't be serving one of my purposes during this lifetime here on earth. I am a healer, and I intend to keep on healing those who come to me for messages from the other side.

Grapes and Cookies

2010-01-04T15:15:00.000-08:00

When I was little and there was a lapse in the conversation, my grandmother used to ask me what I wanted to talk about. One time I answered, "Grapes and cookies," and somehow my reply stuck. It was always "grapes and cookies" whenever she asked me after that. And then we'd go into detail about how I like green grapes better than red, and how Oreos were my favorite cookie. It was a silly exercise, but it always gave us a good giggle.

Not much has changed since then, except for my preference for chocolate chip cookies over Oreos. I'm still silly, and I still love talking about (and eating) food. I'm also still close to my grandmother even though she's no longer in physical form. In fact, I'm closer to her now than I was when she was alive. That's because I can talk to her anytime I want.

And yes, she does talk back.

But more on that tomorrow....